Playing With Gender Roles In The Bedroom

Playing With Gender Roles In The Bedroom

A few years ago I was riding home from San Francisco with a world famous Drag King. It was one of the most exciting conversations I ever had on a road trip. I was curious about everything.

"What's the process of getting into being a man? Did people actually believe you were a man when you went out?" I asked.

The Drag King offered to give me a lesson in her Hollywood apartment.

Here are the guidelines she gave me.

1) Find your inner man and then dress him- I decided to go with a hispanic artsy male character. He wore a green suite, he had long slick backed hair, and a thin mustache.

2) Take on a masculine posture- I had to learn how to sit and walk differently. This wasn't too hard for me as I had a lot of acting experience behind me and I'd observed lots of men. It was actually really fun.

3) Notice your genitals- To really get into the role I wore a soft pack, this is like wearing a strap on, only it's not designed for penetration, it a soft version of male genitals. Wearing a soft pack gave me the biggest insights to what it might be like to be in a male body. I was really aware of my genitals because suddenly there was something on the outside. I wanted to rub it on things! I felt it against my leg and it was arousing. I suddenly had a lot of compassion for men.

It was a really fun day, and I was excited to bring my new character home to my partner. This was definitely a "Bend over Boyfriend moment" and really fun to reverse roles a little.

I think that a lot of people are afraid to play with Gender roles. The think that because they are submissive or dominant in the bedroom that it means that this will be the way things will always be. But that is not the case. The bedroom is the perfect place to play with this. Maybe it means that he just wears some girls panties, or she puts on a tie. It can be a simple as that.

I give you permission to play with this. And if you find that you like it, it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. I just means that you found something new and interesting to play with.

I was doing some research on cross-dressing after my experience and I was surprised to find that there were women leaving their husbands because they liked to wear women's clothing in the bedroom. I wondered why?

- Jaiya, CalExotics Expert Sexpert