When Sex Hurts: Inspire Silicone Dilator Review

When Sex Hurts: Inspire Silicone Dilator Review

Showtime’s Masters of Sex is based on the groundbreaking work of sex therapists William Masters and Virginia Johnson in the 50’s.  Not everything you see in the series is true, but the broad strokes are accurate.  

Their complementary style worked right away.  He was the gynecologist with credentials and medical training; she was the warm and approachable counterpart.  (Their chemistry wasn’t exclusive to the laboratory; their working relationship turned into a marriage.)

 In one episode, Dr. Masters and Ms. Johnson are treating a patient experiencing painful intercourse.  They used a treatment that’s still effective today: vaginal dilators.  Of course, Dr. Masters focuses on the technical way they work in the vagina.  The patient discloses that she experienced sexual abuse as a child, and Virginia uses the interventions she had just learned in a psychotherapy session.  She asks, “What would that little girl say now?”

This question is something I have asked the patients – many with a history of abuse and pain during intercourse - I treat in my private practice today.  This TV scene demonstrates the power of mind-body healing, so I encourage you to use a few of these techniques in tandem with the Inspire Silicone Dilator set.  A few sessions of sex therapy with a professional will help you reprocess any experiences connected with any pain or difficulty you may be experiencing.  When using the dilators at home, you can also ask yourself these questions, “What is the root of this physical response?”  “Where did I learn this?”  “What do I need to teach my mind and body to say and do now that is different than what I have done in the past?” 

Today, the technical term for the disorders formerly known as dyspareunia and vaginismus which involve painful intercourse, contraction of the vagina, and penetration problems is genito-pelvic pain/penetration disorder.  Not all cases of this disorder involve a history of sexual abuse or rape, but many women experiencing abuse report painful intercourse.  And, you’re not alone: according to the CDC, 20% of American adults were sexually abused as children.  According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 20% of American women have been raped. 

Begin with the smallest dilator.  The Inspire Silicone Dilator set are elegant and made from high quality silicone.  Their light pink color is feminine, and these dilators are part of the Inspire line which gives proceeds to Living Beyond Breast Cancer.  Silicone tends to feel softer and warmer than plastic toys which many women feel are too hard and even aggressive.  You can use them with a water-based lubricant.  The smallest dilator is 1.5” in circumference and 3” long.  All 5 dilators have a looped ring on the end to make holding them easy.  You’ll notice the physiological response of the mind and body when the dilator is inserted.  Notice it.  Be mindful in that moment.  Pay attention to the physical sensations you are receiving and any thoughts you may notice without any sort of judgment.  These mindfulness techniques where you attune to what’s happening right here and right now without judgment has been shown to help with many sexual issues. 

You can also be mindful of the sensation starting to change.  The physical sensation you used to label quickly as “pain” may even give way to “pleasure.”  The slightly curved shape of the dilator can help to stimulate the G-spot.  Instead of pushing any sensation away, just notice it. 

 These techniques will help you work your way up to the largest of the 5 dilators which is 4.25” in circumference and 6.5” in length.  As you progress, you may begin to enjoy the experience more.  In fact, the Inspire Silicone Dilators can serve as double duty.  Once you no longer need them for tightness, you can use them for pleasure.  Use them regularly - especially if you’re single and not having intercourse on a weekly basis.  Like the rest of the body, the muscles in your genital area are “use them or lose them.”  Along the way, these dilators can be part of the healing you are seeking in both mind and body.

Dr. Mike Dow

CalExotics Expert Sexpert

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